So we met with the social worker on Monday with Emma. I have to give the kid props; despite being incredibly uncomfortable she spoke and answered questions; she didn't prevaricate or try to pretend she didn't understand the questions, she didn't grump and growl (which she very well could have done) and from what I could tell was pretty honest. There were a couple of times that I or Brian had to step in, gently, and add some information or ask a question but overall I think it went way better than I anticipated - and let's understand that I had no idea how this was going to go.
We and the social worker really tried to focus on getting her to see how some of her thought patterns need to be readjusted a little bit. We also thanked her very much for having the strenght and courage to come with us and not just be crabby.
The other thing we did which has certainly not happened in a very long time if ever, was that after the session we went out for dinner just the three of us. We made a distinct effort to not talk about the session and just talked about other stuff. Until the end of the meal. At that point I just asked her "do you understand why Dad & I went to speak with her?" and she said yes; then I asked "do you understand why we think it was important for you to meet with her?" and again she said yes; and the clincher "do you understand that we think its important for you to continue talking with her?" and again she said yes. I know that she may feel coerced but I don't really care; I just want her to realize she doesn't have to be this unhappy.
I guess that's it for now. Have called the social worker and am waiting for her to call me back for another appoitment for Emma. Oh, and I think we need to do the dinner thing more often. It was very nice.
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