Angels

So in my first post I referred to the angelic presence in my life.  My youngest child, Veronica (aka Ronnie) was diagnosed with Angelman syndrome just after her 2nd birthday.  This is a genetic disorder that leads to a global delay in development.  In other words, both her motor skills and her neurological development have moderate to severe delays.  She is now 9 years old but is, in a lot of ways, like a 2 year old child.  Very dependent on everyone for what we call "activities of daily living". 

Don't let the name of the disorder affect your thinking however: she is a very energetic and fun loving kid.  She much prefers to play with people than toys and she really loves to interact with others.  She can be manipulative and bratty and knows just which buttons to push to get her sister really mad.  But she can also be cuddly and sweet and have just the right touch to get your attention.  One of her favorite activities is getting to climb into bed with mom and dad on the weekends and just jump around and cuddle and play.  Once she gets her cuddle time, she's good for the day..

Having two kids is challenging; throw one in with special needs and you discover just how strong a person you can be.  My husband and I have this sort of ongoing conversation: do babies pick their parents or do parents get the kids they need or, third option, is it just fluke?  He thinks that the kids choose their parents and I'm not sure.  One thing I can say is that having a child with special needs helps you put things in perspective.

I often get people asking me how I can be such a positive person with what we've had to go through.  Part of me wants to say: "Well, what do you expect?  Am I supposed to be depressed constantly because my child is disabled?" and part of me wants to say "You can't stay miserable forever; that's no way to live".  I think I usually end up saying the last one.  We both certainly went through the phases and reality is that you do go through a grieving process.  This child will not be able to live out the dreams I've imagined for her.  That is my heartbreak.

However, you can't stay depressed or angry forever.  You need to incorporate it into your life in a way that lets you continue to live while making space for this new challenge.  Nothing is insurmountable.

Til next time.

To be a vegetarian or not to be vegetarian; that is the question

Emma has finally finished her book reports and has returned to humanoid behaviour.  This leaves me with not much to complain about (Thankfully) so I think I'll write about food.

My husband became a vegetarian about one year ago following some pretty severe gout attacks.  The gout flared up after he followed a pretty strict high protein diet.  He managed to loose alot of weight but the OD of proteins left him with gout.  After watching this pretty tough guy fight the pain, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Anyway, to try to eliminate all these meat-based proteins, he became a vegetarian.  Its really suprising how touchy people become when you talk about food and their diet; it is such a sensitive topic.  We've been having the vegetarian talk for quite some time before he decided to do it, but in the past I would subtly (or not so subtly) try to sabotage it.  This time seems to have stuck however.  The good news is that he is no longer in pain.  The bad news is that I have to eat more tofu than I really want to.  Thankfully not very often but I'm not a huge fan of tofu...

So here we are with my husband and Ronnie (my youngest) being vegetarians and Emma and myself being staunch carnivores.  Thank God for BBQ season - we all get to eat what we want....

Til next time.

High School jitters

So, here we are one week after my last post, and we are in the same situation again.  This is so not working for me!  This time it was about school and her period.  Weird combo I know but...

School: I'm not quite sure where, when or how, but Emma has decided that as the so-called smart kid she is not allowed to have too much fun.  Most of the kids she knew in elementary school that were popular where not very academic (according to her) and she had a really bad experience with them.  She was put down alot and because she was afraid to not have friends, she put up with it for a long time before she finally decided she had had enough.  She was cyber-bullied before grade 6 started and that pretty much put an end to her friendship with the idiots...Now, I am very proud that she made the decision to cut ties with these particular people but it has left her with a coloured perception.  Rather than get to know people she has just decided that people suck and are therefore not worth knowing.  She had a math test to take for high school and she said she was looking at people and has already decided who the cool kids are, who the geeks are.... I am so worried that she will have a horrible experience and it will be her fault completely!!!! High School is tough enough with friends; I can't imagine what it would be like without... 

Ugh... this is such a negative post and I'm really not a negative person... I just hope she learns to give people a chance.  She is so busy trying to be who she thinks people think she is that she has no idea who she is.  (can you figure it out?:):):)

Period: one extended sentence should explain it: "I have cramps";" take an Advil"; "no it is a drug, I'll just deal with the pain"; "fine then, suffer but don't take it out on the rest of us..."; "but I don't feel well..."  Over and over and over...

Was I this stubborn as a kid???

Til next time.

Pre-teen challenges - part deux

So we finally made it to the Matsuri Festival, which was nothing to sneeze at unfortunately, and despite the rocky start, we ended up having a fairly decent family-day.  Emma even admitted that she was glad she didn't wear black - she would have been too hot.  Score 1 point for mom & dad.

Unfortunately, we ended up having the same argument the next day; loose 1 point for mom & dad... Thank God we won't have to go through this stuff twice.  We may have our challenges with Ronnie but at least she doesn't disagree with what we want her to wear.  We just have to fight her into her clothes... I swear, dressing Ronnie is an extreme sport on some days.  Fun but then everyone starts to sweat and she just laughs....

So after my first post, I ended up thinking about vegetarianism and realized that tho BBQ season is great for the carnivores in our house it is not so great for the herbivores.  Brian and Ronnie end up eating soya sausauges or vege burgers most of the time while we eat a good meal.  I do worry that they aren't getting the proper nutrition/vitamin quotient (even tho they are taking multi-vitamins).  The good news is that Brian has not had a relapse of his gout since he turned herbivore.  What to do, what to do, what to do...

Til next time.

Pre-teen challenges

Saturday morning and here we go, again.  Instead of having a nice family day out at the Festival Japonais, we are now faced with the choice of dragging our pre-teen with us (where she will be miserable for the rest of day) or leaving her at home (where we won't have to deal with her misery but she will think she's won whatever quirky little battle of wills she's engaged in).

Sometimes I just don't know what to do or how to respond.  Do we ignore or do we engage?

So now, we are all in our respective corners trying not to engage so we don't make things worse... In the meantime, she's still dressed like Nanuk of the North when it is 30 degrees outside.  I get that it is a control issue, but sometimes I just wish she'd understand that we are not trying to run her life. Sometimes we actually know what we are talking about!!!

Til next time.

My first post

I think I'm feeling jealous of the time my hubby spends on the web searching and reading various Zen blogs... I supposed it is kind of petty to be jealous of time spent trying to find inner peace, but, there you have it.  Not one of my prouder moments....

I've been wanting to start a blog/diary/journal to chart the family adventures for quite some time now.  Not that my family is more interesting than anyone else's but we have had some adventures that others perhpas have not shared.  For example, I have an angel in my life that is very special to me.  I'm not talking about an angel-with-wings-angel but a child with Angelman syndrome.  My youngest daughter is nine years old and was diagnosed with this genetic disorder just after her second birthday (more details on this to come).

I also have a twelve year old pre-teen daughter who is refusing to wear any colour but black; not because she feels black on the inside but, well, I haven't quite figure out why yet.  She's about to start high school and although a great kid, she can be a tad challenging (as all kids can be).

As mentioned above I also have a wonderful husband who is trying to navigate his way to Buddhism in a house where religion is not taken very seriously and where I sort of zone out after a bit.  But I'm trying to be supportive which is a good thing. 

I also have a mixed beagle-cocker spaniel dog with special needs.  She has seizures which can be tad frightening is you've never seen anyone never mind a dog have a seizure.

Anyway, I have to go back to work but I hope to use this blog to talk about family, life, dogs and food.  Yes my hubby is a vegetarian and I am not... actually we are split 50/50 with me and the pre-teen being carnivorous and my hubby and Angel being herbivores...

Til next time...