Mother's Day isolation

I've finally managed to break out of the 'mother's day isolation' cell.  What is the 'mother's day isolation' cell you wonder?  Well, when Emma was little, all she understood is that this was a special day to honour mommy and that mommy was not supposed to do any work and have some peace and quiet.  She also understood that breakfast in bed was de rigeur.  So, from the time she was about 2 years old, my mother's day began with being isolated in my bedroom.

I was not allowed to go to the bathroom,was not allowed to get out of bed, was not allowed to stand at the doorway and just talk to her and her dad as they made breakfast.  I was stuck in my bed and would get yelled at at the first sign of mutiny on my part.

At first it was kinda fun but then it became kinda boring and then it felt isolating.  In her head she was respecting the 'mother's day' tradition, but for me I was in my bedroom by myself with no one to interact with because no one else was allowed in there with me after coffee and breakfast were delivered. 

So this year I've broken out of the cell.  Just got up and sat down at the kitchen table and practically dared anyone to send me back to my room.  Thankfully, I was allowed to stay out and enjoy my kids and hubby and they waited on me hand and foot - well, not really but you get the picture.

Best mother's day ever.

'til next time.

Epiphany - we hope?

So, following my last post Emma finally did her studying for her french dictation test and guess what?  She scored a 93%!!!  Had to stop myself from saying "i told you so".  The good news is that she did acknowledge that the studying made a difference.  She actually studied her verbs for the next test without us having to hound her to death. 

What a difference that made.  It was so nice to get her to do this without having to push her into it.  Now we just have to keep on her butt and get her to keep it up.

On another note:  Happy mother's day!!

'til next time.

I'm over it now

So, my last post wasn't friendliest on the face of the earth but we were NOT have a very good weekend.  Things have turned around some although we are still having some issues.  I must admit however that I'm starting to dread any sentence that begins with the words "um, I know you are not going to like this but...".  It always leads to something she's forgotten to do or a test she's failed or something she's lost.  She's lost her freakin' shoes for God's sake.  How do you do that? I ask her.  Didn't you notice when you were barefoot???  Seriously, when I say she lost her shoes I mean she lost at least one shoe.  We had to go and get her a new pair…

Anyway, as I was saying things have gotten a bit better this week.  The daffodils are blooming, the grubs that are eating our grass seem to have gone back underground, Ronnie is learning how to move her wheelchair at school and Emma is approaching the end of her first year of high school and realizing that organization is not such a bad thing.

She’s starting to realize I think that some of the crappy grades she is getting are the result of her not being organized or just simply not keeping track of deadlines.  She studies the wrong verbs for a French test; she has a dictée and doesn’t take note of the website she’s supposed to look at; she’s absent from school and is too embarrassed to ask her friends or the teachers what she has missed… Not noting deadlines however is a big one.

And frankly, she doesn’t do so well under pressure.

So now she has one month to up her grades (French grade in particular) and she’s going to have to start keeping track of things.   Maybe we should have intervened earlier but I think it’s a lesson she needs to learn.  Also, we’ve tried to intervene and get roundly told off.  So now we’ve asked her to write down in her agenda deadlines/work that needs to be done on a daily basis.  No facebook, youtube or anything else until she gets herself back on track.  We won’t let her slack off this time.  The last thing she wants to do is fail her semester. 

I’m sure it will work out but she’s such a smart kid; she can do so much better than she is now.  I think she got used to not having to try and it is a hard habit to break.

‘til next time.

Teenage angst

Who knew this would start the day after she turned 13?  It has been such a roller coaster and I can't figure out where it started.  Emma has always had body-image issues and we've always tried to counter it.  We try to tell her to be confident and that she doesn't look as big as she thinks she does but like every other adolescent out there, we are always wrong and she is always right. 

Today I seem to have hit my limit.  She is rude, obnoxious and uncooperative.

We went out shopping for t-shirts because we will be going away this summer and she needs to clothes that are appropriate for the weather.  Unfortunately, the only thing she wants to wear is black t-shirts and jeans.  Oh, and a hoodie.  It is 71 degrees celcius in our house and she's trying to put on her hoodie... I tried to get her try to put on something more appropriate and it was very nice and age appropriate.   She was utterly horrified, said she looked huge and was almost in tears.  She then went on about how she is fat, horrible, ugly and just worthless... so we've spent the rest of the day with her in a slump and everyone else trying to work around her and behave in a normal way.

I'm exhausted, fed up and out of patience. 

When I was a kid I was always told that I was worthless, useless, fat, ugly and that no one would love me.  I swore that I would never do that to my kids.  And I haven't.  We have both taken incredible pains to ensure that we try to put across positive messages.  I don't know where this behaviour of hers comes from.... I just don't get it.

That's it for now cause I could keep writing but it wouldn't accomplish very much.