Life goes one one cut at a time

So, it's been quite some time since I've written and quite a lot has happened: I was on strike for three months (not a pleasant time), Veronica continues to grow and gain skills, we've decided that we are going to attend the FAST gala next and we discovered that Emma has been cutting herself.

No one ever tells you that your so-called 'neuro-typical child might very well be the more difficult one.  8 years ago we received this horrendous diagnosis of Angelman syndrome and the doctors tell you what they know (and eventually you figure out they didn't really know what they were talking about); this diagnosis that will take over your life and leave you feeling utterly helpless.  Docs do what they do best and prescribe physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and just about every other kind of therapy you can think of.  And before you know it they send you out on your own to deal with the diagnosis. 

No one ever thinks that the rest of the family has also just been diagnosed with this horrible truth.

I have no idea if this has anything to do with Emma's cutting but I figure it must come into play at some level.  She's always been highly embarassed by her sister.  God, on some level I get it.  You just want to be a normal child and not stand out for the wrong reasons and here you've got this sibling that no matter where you go, people stare... On the other hand , she's got this sister who is so loving its not funny.

So we discovered she was cutting several months ago.  I got suspicious when I realized that she was coming out of the shower in the morning and getting dressed right away - I mean with her cardigan and everything.  So one morning, I asked her to pull up her sleeves; and she refused.  Eventually, I tackled her and pulled up the sleeves and saw the marks.  As horrified as I was I was relieved: at least we knew what we were up against.  We did lots of research into how to help and we decided on a tack that seemed to work.  We were checking her arms on a regular basis and talking to her about it and after a while it seemed to get better. 

Then last week, I get a phone call from her gym teacher saying that she hasn't participated in class in about a month and that when she tried to get her to wear a gym uniform, she came out wearing her cardigan on top.  Seriously, and you're trying to hide this?  Then on Friday, I received another call from one of the guidance councillors.  He must have been surprised when I said I knew she was cutting.  What I didn't know, was that often once the first marks are found, cutters move to another part of the body.  She had: her thighs look like ribbons... This was discovered when we confronted her about some bloody kleenex in her pocket and blood stains on her sweatpants. 

I'm at a loss; she won't talk about why, she doesn't want to talk to anyone, she just wants to pretend it never happened... Well, we can't leave it like that.  Tomorrow I have to make a phone call to the councillor and tell him that yes, indeed she has moved to her legs, I have to call our employee assistance program to get a referral for a therapist - we need to figure out how to deal with this.

Oh, my heart hurts for her.

What, vacation is over?

I have to go back to work on Monday.  Not looking forward to it.  Not that I don't enjoy working or the folks I work with (they are fabulous), but I've been home for the past week and really enjoyed spending some time with the girls and just relaxing.  And sleeping in; and watching the french cooking channel because the Food network is not free this month and the french one is.

I did go to the gym a couple of times, got weighed at Weight Watchers and lost another 2.4 pounds (total so far is 9.8 lbs) YAY ME!!!  Actually, it was really funny: went I entered the info into the WW etools, I first got a Congratulations!! You have lost weight again!! message.  Then I had a message saying "you are loosing weight faster than recommended.  Please slow your rate of weight loss."  And all I'm thinking is "are you *%^$# kidding me???"  I'm going to keep going while the going is good.  I know that this rate will not continue indefinately so I'm going to take advantage of it while it lasts. 

Anyway, I guess you can say I've reached my first goal of 10lbs.  Only 50 more pounds to go:)

'til next time

What, no pound of butter?

Ok, so my title is a little lame, but it is kind of self-explanatory if you've previous posts.  Weight loss this week totaled 0.6 lbs.  A little disappointing to say the least but not exactly unexpected. Not that I've been going 'off-plan' as they say.  No, it's that time of the month and most women put on a couple of pounds as you approach the end of your cycle.  By this time next week, I should be a couple of pounds lighter; although I suppose it says something that I was still down in weight.

Been going to the gym regularly and working on my running.  I am working steadily towards 5 minute jogs separated by 5-6 minutes of really quick walking.  I keep making a running gag that I want to run a 5k race but I think I really do.  I think it would give me a real feeling of accomplishment.

So, maybe the Ottawa race next year will have a new runner in the 5k field... you never know.

'til next time.

More pounds of butter?

So, its the day after my official weigh-in and I am happy to announce that this week I lost 3.8 pounds.  This means that in two weeks, i've lost 6.8 pounds.  This also means that I am just over 3 pounds away from my first target of 10 pounds and will hopefully get there next week.  Yay me!!!

Though both Brian and I seem to be doing well in this weight watchers thing, Emma is not.  Well, that's not quite true.  Twice this week she came to the gym with us and actually rocked it out on the elliptical glider.  However, she was supposed to come with me this morning and was too busy being lazy. "my legs won't move" she says... actually she yells is more accurate. So I ended up loosing my patience with her and just left and went to the gym on my own.

Anyway, I did 30 minutes on the treadmill which included 3x4:00 minutes of actual joggin.  I feel like this week I might be able to try jogging for longer and see how it goes.  Considering that when I first started I couldn't run for 30 seconds and now I'm running for 4:00 minutes at a time?  Pretty Cool.

'til next time

Democratic process... really?

So I don't get it.  Ronnie's day camp has a board of directors, and as a group we meet to discuss various issues; sometimes we even decide on things.  For example, it was decided that this year, no employee would use her personal vehicle to transport the kids to and from the various outings. 

Because we have to use an adapted bus, the cost of the outings can be quite prohibitive.  For example, tomorrow they are supposed to go to the beach and the price is $20/kid for 18 kids + shadows.  Unfortunately, only 4 kids have signed up for the outing.  So, rather than cancel the outing, we get this notice asking for our approval to have one of the girls who works at the daycamp drive Ronnie in her car... after the BOD decided this was not acceptable.

It becomes a matter of insurance: I'm not sure that the daycamp insurance would cover this type of activity if there was an accident and I'm pretty sure their personal vehicle insurance would not cover it either.  We could ask the girls to have this added to their insurance for the summer but then the camp would have to reimburse the girls the cost... As a non-profit, we just don't have the money for that.

Anyhow I call up the coordinator and sort of ask 'where you not at the meeting that this was discussed?...' and she says 'yes but I called this person (who happens to be the president of the Board) who said to do it anyway - just get the parents to sign this waiver;'.. I mean seriously... didn't we make this decision?  If your going to ignore the decision made by the Board, why discuss it at all?  I don't get it.

Needless to say, Ronnie is not going on the outing.

I'm done venting now:)

til next time.